Music Tied to Memories...

I sit here wrapped in my sweatshirt, the cold bitter day chilling my bones. The light is peaking through the blinds like a kid on Christmas. The melodies of “hike up your skirt a little more…I watch you there through the window and I stare.” The words flow through my ears and unlock memories that I have tried to forget or I have ignored. My tear ducts overflow, and my throat gets tight. I start uttering the words to song.
Standing there hugging the bed post, tears in his eyes he says to me “I don’t want to die Zach, I don’t want to leave my family” Tears begin to fall down his cheeks like the waters of the Madison. His lips quiver and his face rolls together like crinkled paper. He stares out the window at everything he doesn’t know. There are no snow capped mountains, no wildlife. Just a baseball diamond a gym and a couple pine trees.
I try to tell him in confidence “You aren’t going to die buddy! Your family won’t have to miss you! I will do everything in my power to make sure you return to Montana to drink Let er Buck with your Dad.” Not so sure myself what was going to happen, but I knew I couldn’t let him see I was scared. Not then. I had to be his pillar. “You’ve got your ball you’ve got your chain…” I smile and say “buddy, you can keep playing this damn song over and over!”
He looks at me red eyed with poufy cheeks. “It feels good to cry man”
I give him a hug “We are gonna be fine man, nothing is going to happen! I got your back!”
“I know man, I’m just scared.”
“You think I’m not? Have you seen me the past few weeks? I have been an absolute mess. We are 18 and 19 years old, I am going to spend my 19th birthday in Iraq! Who the hell wants to do that?”
“I know man, this is crazy. I never thought I would be a 19 year old war veteran. What the hell have we gotten into now?”
“I don’t know man, but we will get through it together. We have to promise to one another that we will always stick by each other no matter what” he lets go of me and walks back over to his cd player. “I haven’t heard this song in forever; it’s one of my favorite.” He pushes the back button again. And once again “you’ve got your ball; you’ve got your chain…”
We stand at the window in silence, listening to “Crash” one more time. I think to myself what is it going to be like over there? Am I going to have to kill someone? Am I going to die? What is my family going to do? Will I ever get to see my sister play soccer? Will I lose a limb, get shot or something crazy? What would I do if my best friend died or got shot? What would I tell his family?
These are only some of the thoughts that travel across my mind every day for the next year…

A bit of bad luck....

I hate Auto save!!! I spent hours writing the other night. I was inspired and just couldn't stop. My buddy wanted to help me revise it. So i highlighted it all and hit the shortcut keys to copy. Well the whole damn thing vanished!!!! How the hell does that happen? By the time i could figure out what happend the damn thing auto saved over everything and the page was blank. I tried everything that i could to retrieve it. Obviously it was futile!! If anyone has a pointer to prevent this please clue me in!! Thanks everyone for reading! stay tuned! I have 4 days off this weekend. thank you MLK. so i will be sure to post when i get my homework done!!

i'm sorry

To my readers,
I don't know if any of you have noticed, but i haven't posted in quite some time now. This is simply because of the holidays and studying. I promise, to those of you who give a shit i will post soon. I have a lot on my plate right now so i'm really damn busy! So please don't lose intrest! I'll post sometime this week!